I don't even know where to begin...
I can honestly say...I am having a s*%@ day and I am depressed! I only need to look around my house to know that I am having one of my low days...There are dishes on the bench, I can't even see the other side and my dining table is covered with random stuff. My lounge looks like a tornado has been through it, oh wait - that would be my 11 month old son! On top of the house looking like a disaster, I have to actually (eventually) clean it for Open Home on Sunday, make decorations for the kids birthday parties (doing everything on a very tight budget), get my planning finished for work (unit plan etc) and make time for my blog (I actually take blogging seriously, its more than a hobby to me).
I am exhausted, I have had bugger all sleep this past week due to Master M waking several times in the night and it has finally caught up on me! I am feeling very emotional and overwhelmed by everything that is happening in my life! It was just the other day that I had an OMG moment, when I realised that it's my kid's birthdays next week, NEXT WEEK!!! Arrrrghhhhh!! From today, Master M will be turning ONE in 7 days & Miss B will be turning TEN in 10 days - all I keep saying is "I'm not ready for this"! (I am in total denial)
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Photo of me at 40 weeks pregnant with Master M
(my due date: 24th February) |
With all thats been happening in our lives, I haven't had a chance to just sit down and reflect on Master M's first year or look back at Miss B's ten years - TEN YEARS! Two massive milestones and I have swept them both under the covers...I just don't think I am ready to accept that my babies are growing up! Everything is happening so fast, I feel like I need 6 more months just to catch up!
I know that I am going to be an emotional wreck leading up to their birthdays (wait - I already am!) - plus getting the house ready Open Home on Sunday, work on Tuesday, blogging and planning/organising their birthdays (which are happening next weekend) - can you see why I am a little overwhelmed (okay I am VERY overwhelmed), however it's no surprise to anyone that I thrive on pressure and no matter how exhausted I am or will get, I will #makeithappen! I would be really proud of myself if I do manage to pull it off and I will have time to nap after the 12th - by then the house will *hopefully* be sold and the parties are all over rover!
These are the MAIN things that I am dealing with at the moment!
- Planning and Organising three birthday parties (2x Saturday and 1xSunday)
- Teacher planning for work (unit plans typed and emailed before Tuesday)
- Blogging - writing posts
- Clean house and get it ready for Open Home on Sunday - go and visit some Open Homes.
- Update Master M's baby books and keepsake box.
- Take a moment or two to reflect on the TEN years of being a MUM!!
AAARRGGGHHHHH Where do I begin???
***A few moments later***
Okay, please forgive me, you just witnessed me having a mini breakdown! I am just glad you never got to see it real life - it wasn't pretty)...I have had depression for over 10 years and I have come to know what my tell-tale signs are e.g. crying (lots of crying), messy & cluttered home...and I have also learnt a few things along the way that help me get through an episode, not matter how big or small it is...
1. Firstly, accept that there is a problem and whether or not you need to ask for help or if you can help yourself. Write down everything that is bothering you or that is on your mind (kind of like letting it all out...on paper), thinking about what, who, where, why, when? Breaking it down makes it easier to choose a problem, task or area to focus on - it's important to tackle things one at a time.
2. Now that you have chosen ONE task to work on (the other tasks will be done later on), think about ways/solutions that you can get the job done, without becoming overloaded or overwhelmed again. I love lists, so this step is one that I really enjoy! Write a to-do list or put all your ideas on paper, that way you can physically see it and it's one less thing in your (already overloaded) brain!
3. Now to make a plan! Think SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic/Relevant, Timely) and put it into action! You can do this! Good luck! Once you have tackled the problem/task - give yourself a pat on the back and maybe a treat before moving onto the next problem. If you didn't resolve it, go back to #2 and maybe choose another solution.
Now wish me luck, as I am going to tackle my first problem - CLEAN THE HOUSE! I can't concentrate when there is mess or clutter around me (on top of an already cluttered mind)...so I am going to do 15 minute increments of tidying up each area of my home!
This weeks word prompts were Begin, Surprise & Forgive